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April 09th, 2021

4/9/2021

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Meet Abby Ford

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This month’s Agape Letter writer is Abby Ford. She attends church with Dr. Mays at The Rock Community Church. She has made a lasting impact on his life. Her passion to teach led her to leave her career with one organization and pursue a full-time position as an educator Her faith in God has encouraged her to face fears and obstacles head on, with the knowledge that neither stands a chance of stopping her as she presses on.

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Spend fifteen minutes with Abby and her love for Christ will impact your life. Listen to her sing praises to God and you will believe you are in heaven at the throne seat of the Lord.

We are overjoyed to have Abby share her heart with us this month. We pray that you are blessed as well.

Hope In The Dirt

I don’t know about you, but I like to avoid dirt/mud whenever I can. Whether I am walking through the yard, parking my car, taking out the trash, or going on a hike. I typically go out of my way to avoid the mess of dirt or mud. I’m sure I am not alone here. Why deal with the mess if it’s avoidable? If we can’t avoid it, we deal with the aftermath. Ruined shoes, a dirty car and a little aggravation. The implications are frustrating. 
While avoiding a mud puddle or dirt patch is usually a pretty simple task in our physical world, it tends to be more challenging when it comes to our spiritual world. Our faith. Life is messy. We are constantly seeking the path of least resistance. The path with as little dirt and mud as possible. I am guilty of attempting to choose this path on my own or trying to make ways of avoiding the mess. Typically that turns into more of a disaster. It also tends to lead to more sin. 
My mess may look different than yours, but we ALL experience mess sometimes. Depression, disappointment, anxiety, divorce, loss, addiction etc. Our mess is painful. Our mess is difficult to get out of, especially when we continue to look at it. The mess may be painful, but as a believer, we have hope and a Savior who is ready to help us out of the dirt we find ourselves in. 
The woman caught in adultery knew exactly how we feel. She was lost and caught up in her sin and shame. She found herself in the middle of a crowd ready to kill her because of her mess. John 8: 2-11 sets the stage for this story of grace and forgiveness without shame.
V2-11 “At dawn he went to the temple again, and all the people were coming to him. He sat down and began to teach them. Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, making her stand in the center. “Teacher,” they said to him, “this woman was caught in the act of committing adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?”  They asked this to trap him, in order that they might have evidence to accuse him. Jesus stooped down and started writing on the ground with his finger. When they persisted in questioning him, he stood up and said to them, “The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.” Then he stooped down again and continued writing on the ground.  When they heard this, they left one by one, starting with the older men. Only he was left, with the woman in the center. When Jesus stood up, he said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, Lord,” she answered.
“Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.”
There are three really powerful things we can learn about our Jesus from this story. The first is that he is never too busy for us. In verse two, we hear that Jesus has started speaking to a crowd of people (Jesus loved to do this so we can assume he was pretty content in this moment). When the scribes and Pharisees interrupt him and bring this woman to him, he doesn’t become bothered or annoyed that her sin has caused an interruption or distraction from what he was doing. He wasn’t too busy to speak hope into her life. That is exactly what he began to do. He immediately started to “speak” into her brokenness and mess. ​
V6 “...Jesus stooped down and started writing on the ground with his finger.”
I use quotations around “speak” because Jesus has yet to speak audibly. He simply gets down and begins writing in the dirt. This story doesn’t tell us what Jesus wrote, but I feel at peace knowing that it was likely exactly what this broken woman needed to see. 
V8 “Then he stooped down again and continued writing on the ground.”
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Here is lesson two. Jesus isn’t afraid of the dirt or the mess we find ourselves in. He loves us so deeply, despite our sin, that he is willing to get on the ground in the dirt to speak hope into our lives. Regardless of the mess we are facing, find rest knowing that our Savior is willing to step into that mess WITH us. Even better, he offers hope in the way of removing the dirt and cleansing our souls. Isaiah 1:18 “Though your sins are scarlet, they will be white as snow.” You might be messy now, but Jesus made a sacrifice on your behalf that covers all of our sin and mess. ​
Lesson three is this: Grace is followed by obedience. 
(At this point the scribes and Pharisees have left because they know they are not without sin, no one is left to condemn the woman.)
V11 “...’Neither do I condemn you,’ said Jesus. ‘Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.’”
Jesus shows this woman grace without shame. When everyone around her is quick to point out her flaws/mess and cast stones at her, Jesus is quick to forgive her sin and set her back on the right path. We are blessed to experience the same grace and forgiveness as this woman. The lesson, however, remains: Grace is followed by obedience. When shown such grace and mercy, we are called to respond in obedience. Thank goodness our sins are washed away and forgotten, but more than that, thank goodness we are given the opportunity to live again in obedience to our Jesus. 
Look to Jesus when you find yourself in a mess, experience his grace, live in obedience.
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March 12th, 2021

3/12/2021

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Meet Danielle Rutherford

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​During the time of 1999-2001, Dr. Mays had the opportunity to meet and do ministry with this month’s author of the Agape Letter. Danielle Rutherford is a person who has triumphed over some of the worst circumstances anyone could experience. Her faith in God has been the driving force in her perseverance, as well as the way she inspires others to press on regardless of one’s situation.
She is a globetrotting superstar who has managed to bloom everywhere she has been planted (stationed in the military). Her support of Agape Leaders is one more example of her selfless desire to help others in any way possible.
We are blessed to have Danielle in our lives and supporting this ministry.
Thank you, Danielle, we appreciate you.

Exile

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Exile is a common theme in the Old Testament, but it might not seem truly relevant to us today. However, as believers, we are considered exiles of this world. When we look at our lives from an eternal perspective, we know this is not our home. But this doesn’t mean we feel like an exile everyday. For many of us, there are different seasons where we feel our reality as sojourners more tangibly.

As a military spouse, I have moved to amazing locations. However, I have also moved to places that felt like exile. I felt cut off physically, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually as our family tried to find our place in what I deemed as a less than desirable duty station. “Here I am Lord, send me…just not here”. Have you felt this before? It could be a new assignment for a job, changes to your community or location that make you feel like an outsider. How do we deal with this?

One phrase I grew up with as a military brat and still use today is “Bloom where you are planted”. I believe that wherever God plants us, we can bloom or thrive. In fact, some of those places that I felt were exile turned out to be the most amazing and memorable times of my life.

Jeremiah 29 is a Letter to the Exiles. The Israelites were taken captive and transplanted in Babylon. Exile was not something new, and the Israelites knew that it wasn’t going to be a permanent situation because of what the prophets foretold. Eventually they would leave – could be 6 months, a year, two years. I imagine for many, they were intensely longing to leave. “Why unpack? We are just going to leave soon.” is what I imagine many were saying or thinking (I may or may not have said these exact words before).

But God instructed His people to do the following:

v5 “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce.”

You might say, “I already have a house!” And, if you are like me, have a track record of killing anything green. However, we don’t want to miss the implication in this verse. The Message version tells us to “make ourselves at home”. Enjoy the dwelling God has blessed you with. Be hospitable. Make your house a home.

v6 “Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too many have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease.”

This verse does not mean to go out and get married to someone in your community or marry off your children. What we can take from this is to be relational. Get to know people – love your neighbors. Find a church, serve, and live life with the people God has placed around you. Live a life that points others to God.

v7. “Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”

We are to pray for our communities and for our country. We should seek ways to help. Get to know the issues – did God place you in your community for such a time as this? Can you use your resources and know-how to help your neighborhood, town, city, state, and country? How can you be a light where you are?

I believe that right now, many of us feel as though we are in exile. Quarantine restrictions and lockdowns have changed how we do many things. For some, this has been a season that has caused increased stress, worry, depression, and anxiety. But remember, God has a plan for us “… to prosper and not to harm, plans to give you a hope and a future” (v 11). God wants us to thrive and to make the most of where we are – not just based on our physical location.

When we are rooted in Him, we can bloom where we are planted.

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February 11th, 2021

2/11/2021

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Meet Isabelle Shim

​It is with great excitement that we introduce this month’s Agape Letter writer, Isabelle (Izzy) Shim. As a high school teacher, Dr. Mays is blessed to meet outstanding young people every school year. Last year he had the opportunity to teach Izzy in his US history class. He quickly recognized her as a high character student, who is on the glide path to success in whatever she puts her mind to.
Izzy is a published poet as a part of the George Jenkins High School literati program. We are blessed to have this forward thinking, hard working young leader share her gift with the Agape Leaders ministry.
Thank you, Izzy, we appreciate you.

Family Inspirations

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My compass has always had the needle facing the pursuit of perfection; my destination to be greater than those who came before me. When you grow up in an immigrant family, there is no room for mediocrity; for that is dereliction in the eyes of those who have endured hardships to bestow on you the privilege of taking such opportunity for granted.  Nonetheless, I allowed my grades to temporarily falter one year and spent my days with perpetually rolled eyes as my father told me the same cautionary tales I have heard since the cradle. Each time the lesson leads to the same word: Lucky.
My apathy eventually evolved to epiphany and finally into a steely grasp of how lucky I truly was. My parents grew up poor and both were first generation college graduates. My father grew up in Jamaica in a family of six and emigrated to the United States to escape an island threatening violence and potential communism. His family struggled to make ends meet, desperately trying to break language and color barriers. The young immigrant family had an emphasis on education but not the knowledge to foster it. Yet he still found his way to the University of South Florida campus; paying his way to a degree in Finance and a dream job in investment management by the age of 25. My mother grew up in California to teenage parents whose young faces earned premature forehead creases trying to keep a roof over their heads. She worked multiple jobs to earn tuition money for Florida State University, where she received Bachelors and Masters degrees in psychology. She is now an elementary school guidance counselor, where she is a bedrock to both students and faculty.
The experiences of my parents shaped me to be a person who empathizes and understands those around me. It is the foundation of how I interact with my peers. I often view events around the world in a different light through the varying lenses family members deeply and personally influenced. When protests began rising up this past summer, I saw the effects in their eyes and through stories of mistreatment or disadvantage because of the color of their skin. My father’s stories of third world poverty and my mother’s own American version of first world perseverance have driven me to volunteer my time tutoring students who are struggling through the lack of an educational role model at home, but also proper nutrition. Living in a home with parents and extended family who have earned every luxury, including citizenship, allows me to view my fellow humans as opportunities for further understanding rather than reasons to judge.

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January 08th, 2021

1/8/2021

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​Please Help Get This Book Published

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When I was eleven years old, I started writing a book. Like most eleven-year-old boys, I lost interest, put the draft away, and lost track of it. But the desire to write a book lingered in the back of my mind. In 1999 I began writing another book, but daily life took over and that one also fell by the wayside.

Finally, in February 2018 I sat down and began writing the leadership book that had been on my heart for years. With the support and mentorship of a friend, I was able to write Practical Leadership: Lessons from an Average Leader. I spent hours writing, editing, rewriting, and having the book read by others to get critical feedback. I am very happy with this book. I am excited because I believe leaders will be able to improve their craft by reading this book and internalizing the lessons within. My goal is to get the book published early in the new year. 

One thing I did not know when I began this process was how expensive it is to publish a book. This is where you come in. With your help, this book will see the light of day. Please join me on this journey by giving whatever you can to help with the cost of editing and publishing this book.

To say thank you for your donation, we have created incentive levels ranging from Copper, which is for $25 donations to Agape, our highest level of a $5000 donation. Each level has varying incentives of appreciation. However, donations of any amount will be greatly appreciated.

Any funds raised above what is needed to publish this book will be used for Agape Leaders or donated to four different scholarship funds: the Jang-Kim Scholarship, the Juanita Mays Scholarship, the Miss Lakeland Scholarship Competition, and the Miss Florida Outstanding Teen Scholarship Competition.

 Again, thank you for taking the time to read this and seriously consider donating to this project. Click here to Donate today! ​​

​Meet Jessica Maldonado

​This month’s guest writer is Jessica Maldonado. She is a valued member of the Agape Leader’s staff. Her presence has enabled our organization to grow and reach new heights.
Jessica is the founder of Viches Niche, an outstanding graphic design organization that can fulfill all your graphic needs. She is also an exceptional 2D artist.
You can see Jessica’s talent on display by going to her website: https://www.vichesniche.com/ or YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJC2Lugw-CQWAhzM-i5qtZQ/featured
We are blessed to have Jessica Maldonado write this month’s featured article in Agape Letters. 

A Light in the Darkness. 

I wrote a blog to talk to you all about my testimony, to share how much God has helped me through some struggles and how God can help you through times of uncertainty but it was more so for hope. And I only hope that in the future, I will be given an opportunity to share it with you.
 
But right now, today, January 7, 2021, my heart breaks. I dont think today would be appropriate to talk about me and I don't want to fill up this page with hope because everyone, no matter good or bad, can have hope. So, I think today, after we watched what some people have said is the darkest moment in history, we need to talk about something more.
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PictureLost Souls from Pixar's Soul
When you allow darkness to consume you, although you might not realize it, it changes you. It's no one's fault. I'm not here to judge, I'm not here to say Bob was right for doing this and Sue was wrong for doing that. We already have enough bickering going on in the world and quite frankly, I don't have the time to do that. But I want you to know, that when darkness comes, it engulfs you. Unless you have something to hold on to, you lose sight of who you really are and I think a few of us have lost sight of who we are and I think we need do a double check before we post that next opinion or before we post that unread news article with a misleading headliner or before we simply respond to someone's message.
 
I think we need to slow down because when you run full force into a dark room, you are going to run into something and you are going to get hurt and you are going to hurt someone else.
 
This past year has been a year like no other. I have watched silently in the background my peers turn into selfish monsters that belittling someone because they did not have the same opinion as them. I have watched people go into a public facility with no regards of anyone else, not wearing masks and not protecting the other people. I have seen white people turn against black people. I am watching what my history teachers have taught me come to light right before my eyes. And my heart breaks.
 
I can't think about when it started. When did we become so consumed with ourselves that we have no regards to anything or anyone else? When did we start making places and hobbies into idols that we can't go a day without? When did we start putting things or money or people before our neighbor? When did this become the norm. 
 
In December, there was a movie released called Soul. I wanted to watch it so badly because I love art and creativity and I thought it would be a great movie to motivate me. But instead, the movie made me think a lot about today's world. The movie is about a middle-school band teacher named Joe that is so passionate about Jazz but dies before he fulfills that passion. In the movie, Joe learns what it means to have a soul and to die without one. To be quite honest, the bigger picture is not finding something you like to do, not finding what you are excellent at, but what ultimately happens if we get so consumed in ourselves. You lose your soul. 
 
If we are a lost soul, we have no regards to the people around us. The movie depicting this as the dark soul grumbles at anyone that nears.  And today, I know a lot of us are lost souls. But we don't have to be. 
 
God calls us to be like Him. To love and act and care like Him. But we don't, because we only go to God when it is convenient for us. It's not even only about religion right now, it's about good vs evil, light vs darkness. To live a meaningful life like shown in Soul, you are full of light. But to lose that, you become dark. Is it easy to always be a light? No. It freaking sucks sometimes.
 
We even see it in the movie when Joe just shuts down 22, the Soul he has been helping. Joe is a motivator and he has been positive throughout the whole movie and he just, shuts down, because his selfishness consumes him. But that's also what is shown in the scene at the barbershop when Dez, the barber, opens up about his life. He tells us that the reason Joe didn't know all of these things about him before was because he simply didn't ask.
 
So yeah, sometimes it is HARD to put someone else first. We all have dreams. We all have desires. And sometimes putting someone else first means we can't have what we want and you know what, that sucks. But sometimes, putting someone else first, will give you a bigger opportunity and reward than if you wouldn't have. 

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One last reference I am going to mention before I finish this today. 
The Dark Knight, a movie that was released many years ago, a movie that I love to this day because it reminds me of morals. You have good and evil, Batman which is the Good and the Joker which is the evil. I view them very much like God and Satan. Batman is able to destroy the Joker. Easily. He is given many opportunities to kill him and to save Gotham from suffering. But he doesn't and the reason he doesn't is not because he doesn't love Gotham, he doesn't because without the Joker, there would be no bad in Gotham. What does that mean? That would be great then! No, because without the crime in Gotham, there would not be free will to decide what to do. The people that do crime, simply would not exist. Which would not allow Gotham to grow. Which is the same if God stopped Satan from allowing suffering and bad things to happen. If God didn't allow us to suffer, if God took it all away and only left the good, we wouldn't be who we are today.
 
"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4
 
Batman and the Joker find themselves in an interrogation room and their conversation goes like this:

Batman: You wanted me. Here I am.
JOKER: I wanted to see what you'd do...and you didn't disappoint. You let 5 people die. Then you let Dent take your place. Even to a guy like me, that's cold.
BATMAN: Where's Dent?
JOKER: Those mob fools want you dead so they can get back to the way things were. But I know the truth: there's no going back. You've changed things. Forever.
BATMAN: Then why do you want to kill me?
JOKER: Kill you? I don't wanna kill you. What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No. No. No! No you- you complete me.
BATMAN: You're garbage who kills for money.
JOKER: Don't talk like one of them, you're not. Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak. Like me. They just need you right now. But when they don't they'll cast you out. Like a leper. Their morals, their code; it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. You'll see- I'll show you. When the chips are down these, uh, civilized people? They'll eat each other. See I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve.
And that's where we are today. Many people have left God because things have gotten better for them. They don't need Him anymore. The Joker said when the chips are down, the civilized people will eat each other. Look around you friends, he was right. We have let ourselves get consumed by the negativity going on and we have stopped caring for anyone but ourselves. We are seeing brothers and sisters fight each other. We are seeing people tear each other apart. Yeah, I'm going to be honest, being isolated for a month sucks. Yeah, giving up that last roll of toilet paper sucks. And yes, watching what could have been your political party lose, quite frankly sucks. 
 
But you know what else sucks?
Not seeing your parents for almost a year because they are high risk.
Not being able to celebrate things like a wedding or a baby in the same way that you dreamed of.
Not being able to publicly be happy over something that happened because you don't want to be attacked by other people's opinions.
And watching the destruction and carnage of people that aren't happy because things just simply suck.
 
So I challenge you, look at your life right now. Are you living in darkness? No judgement if you are, but I urge you friend to reach out to someone that is a light. And if you aren't living in darkness, I urge you to be the light that my friends, my family and my country need right now.
 
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
James 1:19
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December 11th, 2020

12/11/2020

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​Please Help Get This Book Published

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When I was eleven years old, I started writing a book. Like most eleven-year-old boys, I lost interest, put the draft away, and lost track of it. But the desire to write a book lingered in the back of my mind. In 1999 I began writing another book, but daily life took over and that one also fell by the wayside.

Finally, in February 2018 I sat down and began writing the leadership book that had been on my heart for years. With the support and mentorship of a friend, I was able to write Practical Leadership: Lessons from an Average Leader. I spent hours writing, editing, rewriting, and having the book read by others to get critical feedback. I am very happy with this book. I am excited because I believe leaders will be able to improve their craft by reading this book and internalizing the lessons within. My goal is to get the book published early in the new year. 

One thing I did not know when I began this process was how expensive it is to publish a book. This is where you come in. With your help, this book will see the light of day. Please join me on this journey by giving whatever you can to help with the cost of editing and publishing this book.

To say thank you for your donation, we have created incentive levels ranging from Copper, which is for $25 donations to Agape, our highest level of a $5000 donation. Each level has varying incentives of appreciation. However, donations of any amount will be greatly appreciated.

Any funds raised above what is needed to publish this book will be used for Agape Leaders or donated to four different scholarship funds: the Jang-Kim Scholarship, the Juanita Mays Scholarship, the Miss Lakeland Scholarship Competition, and the Miss Florida Outstanding Teen Scholarship Competition.

 Again, thank you for taking the time to read this and seriously consider donating to this project. Click here to Donate today! ​

Meet Zachary Gilmore

This month’s guest writer is Zachary Gilmore. He and Dr. Mays attend The Rock Community Church (TRCC) in Lakeland, FL. They have had several opportunities to join together in ministry. For those who have known him for years, it has been a joy to watch Zach step out of his comfort zone time and time again to do whatever ministry God is calling him to do.
Zach is a graduate of Florida State University. He currently works with Parker Street Ministries. He also volunteers with the TRCC youth ministry, and he is a member of the TRCC sound team.
If you want to experience Zach’s passion for creating, head over to Instagram and search Outrageously Big Z (@outrageouslybigz). We are certain that you will be amazed at his talent.
We are overjoyed to have Zachary Gilmore write this month’s featured article in Agape Letters.

Loneliness

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Loneliness is best felt in a crowd of people. “Best felt” being a bit facetious. In terms of the “best” way to feel such a negative emotion, the “worst” might be considered it’s “best.” In my personal experience, loneliness feels less like being stranded on an island with no humans in sight and more like riding a bicycle on the highway. Once loneliness leeches itself into my heart, I feel like I’ve become un-equipped for their journey of life.
Ironically, people struggling with loneliness aren’t alone. The UK has gone as far to create a Minister of Loneliness to tackle this isolation epidemic among its citizens. Research has shown that up to a fifth of UK citizens and nearly a fourth of all US citizens had claimed to be lonely most of, if not all, the time. Loneliness has been shown to dramatically decrease the life expectancy of a person and often leads to negative health habits such as smoking and drinking; an escape from the crippling feeling of lost human connection.
Many studies have pointed to loneliness triggering a natural instinct to flood our bodies with anxiety. Back in our hunter-gatherer days, our tribe, or community, was necessary to our survival. When isolated, fight or flight would kick in to help remove us from the danger. These days, advancements in technology and society have made small tribes obsolete, but that instinct to escape isolation persists. Frankly, a lot of people don’t know what to do about it.
One Sunday, my pastor spoke on the story in Exodus when The Great I AM spoke to Moses through a burning bush. “I will be with you.” This was peak quarantine, so the concept of “with-ness” was such a passionate desire. I prayed for the LORD to be with me. I prayed for people who would be with me. I even ordered and read the book With by Skye Jethani.
Throughout my life, the combination of being an introvert and having deeply rooted social anxiety has made feeling like I am “with” people difficult. I may be around people all day, but rarely do I feel like I’m with them. I always find myself sitting between two conversations at a table, not a part of either of them, and simply listening to both (this isn’t a metaphor, this happens all the time). People have their own lives and I seldom feel I have enough of one to justify interrupting their’s. My bicycle will just slow their cars down.
Loneliness creates the perfect defense for itself. It’s a monstrous self-sustaining echo chamber. What starts out as a simple desire for intimacy festers into a fear of human beings. That natural anxiety needs a cause. After a while, we cease to be satisfied with the notion that someone forgot to reach out and we begin to wonder if there is a deeper, more malicious reason for the lack of intimacy finding its way to us. This corrupt curiosity often has lasting effects. I will still, to this day, stare at a text I have typed out to a close friend, wondering if our friendship is genuine or some elaborate act of pity. Once caught in the loneliness vacuum, separated from the love of others, you quickly start to lose compassion for yourself. You need someone to blame. How do you think this might affect, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”?
When it’s difficult to find “with-ness” with people, community becomes a burden more than a blessing. Going to church would often just become a spiritual rest stop: I would relieve what I’d been holding in and maybe try to request something from the cosmic vending machine to keep me sustained for the road ahead (sometimes the cosmic vending machine wouldn’t accept my dollar bill, so I’d just try to straighten out that prayer request and try it again). No moment did I receive more conviction than a time I had a vision about entering a tent to find it filled with the presence of the LORD. I dropped my heavy bag of burdens at His feet, started to make my way back into the world and He asked, “Aren’t you going to stay for a while?”
Why wasn’t that my natural instinct? Did I really think I was just being used by Him for some greater purpose that the Creator of the Cosmos had no interest in my presence? This broken understanding of people had washed over into my understanding of God.

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It is, unsurprisingly, hard to hear the LORD’s voice while sailing through the sea of loneliness. I have read, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” as justification to sideline human connection in favor of complete intimacy with God, but then Jesus follows with: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39) These two commandments cannot happen separately. Living in communion with the Creator, means living in communion with His people. Jesus even says, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them.” (Matthew 18:20)
In Henri J.M. Nouwen’s In the Name of Jesus, he notes that despite decades of speaking and teaching, he had realized most of his theological career was done
independently. He would speak alone, teach alone, and usually plan these engagements himself. Independence is a virtue these days. Self-sufficiency gives you control over your own success. However, at a speaking event in Washington D.C. he had brought along a co-speaker from a community for those with mental disabilities at which he had been serving as a priest. His co-speaker would parrot talking points and insert his own commentary, which lightened the mood. In the moment, it reminded him that Jesus sent his disciples two by two (Mark 6:7). Nouwen noticed that speaking with another person took his control over the situation, but created something else in its place: intimacy.
In the Creation story, the Creator of the Universe says, “It is not good for man to be alone…” (Genesis 2:18). The loneliness in me wants to point out that things quickly went downhill after that, but God responds differently. The Creator gave humans independence and community influence, things got messy, and the ultimate fix was not to take control of humanity; it was to put Himself with us in the form of Jesus.
A lot of loneliness is rooted in trauma and fear of the messiness of human relationships. There are absolutely relationships that people should cut themselves free from, but to cut out Relationship from your life will bury you in another unfortunate pit. You can’t control human interaction, but that’s part of the beauty of it. Only then can the true intimacy of human connection and the relationship with our Father in Heaven be fully realized. After all: loneliness can’t be solved by yourself.


Sources:
With by Skye Jethani
In the Name of Jesus by Henri J. M. Nouwen
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/pm-launches-governments-first-loneliness-strategy#:~:text=Minister%20for%20Loneliness%2C%20Tracey%20Crouch,we%20tackle%20it%20head%20on.


https://www.sciencenewsforstudents.org/article/loneliness-can-breed-disease

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November 13th, 2020

11/13/2020

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​Please Help Get This Book Published

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​When I was eleven years old, I started writing a book. Like most eleven-year-old boys, I lost interest, put the draft away, and lost track of it. But the desire to write a book lingered in the back of my mind. In 1999 I began writing another book, but daily life took over and that one also fell by the wayside.

Finally, in February 2018 I sat down and began writing the leadership book that had been on my heart for years. With the support and mentorship of a friend, I was able to write Practical Leadership: Lessons from an Average Leader. I spent hours writing, editing, rewriting, and having the book read by others to get critical feedback. I am very happy with this book. I am excited because I believe leaders will be able to improve their craft by reading this book and internalizing the lessons within. My goal is to get the book published early in the new year. 

One thing I did not know when I began this process was how expensive it is to publish a book. This is where you come in. With your help, this book will see the light of day. Please join me on this journey by giving whatever you can to help with the cost of editing and publishing this book.

To say thank you for your donation, we have created incentive levels ranging from Copper, which is for $25 donations to Agape, our highest level of a $5000 donation. Each level has varying incentives of appreciation. However, donations of any amount will be greatly appreciated.

Any funds raised above what is needed to publish this book will be used for Agape Leaders or donated to four different scholarship funds: the Jang-Kim Scholarship, the Juanita Mays Scholarship, the Miss Lakeland Scholarship Competition, and the Miss Florida Outstanding Teen Scholarship Competition.

 Again, thank you for taking the time to read this and seriously consider donating to this project. Click here to Donate today! 

Meet Theresa Santos

This month’s guest writer is Theresa Santos. She is a friend of Agape Leaders, who Dr. Mays first met during the 2000-2001 school year. He was one of her basketball coaches at Seoul American High School in Yongsan, South Korea. They have maintained contact through the years. We are very fortunate to have her writing this month’s Agape Letter.
Theresa graduated from Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma, WA where she was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the US Army. She married her college sweetheart, Zachery Santos; he also commissioned into the US Army where he continues to serve today. They have four amazing daughters
This month Theresa reminds us to “Never say never.” We are overjoyed to have her write this month’s featured article in Agape Letters.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6

Never Say Never

“The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
Numbers 6:24-26
If you were to ask me one year ago if I would ever consider homeschooling my kids, my answer would have been a resounding NEVER! I thought highly of those who could homeschool their kids and admired them that they could have their children home all day while keeping up with the daily chores of the home, but I felt no such calling in my life. I personally thought that I would lose my mind every day trying to teach my kids and be with them day in and day out. God has blessed us with four beautiful girls, but each of those beautiful girls has a personality of their own! 
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However, as the summer went on and there was limited guidance from the school districts about how school was going to be conducted because of the coronavirus, God told me to homeschool the girls. At first, I wanted to be like Jonah and get on a boat far, far away from homeschooling because all I could think about was that the cons outweighed the pros. How am I going to teach my girls if I don’t have a teaching degree? How do I put a curriculum together? How do I manage teaching two girls at the same time? How am I going to handle teaching and make sure my home isn’t a disaster at the end of the day? Are my kids going to struggle getting used to the new normal? Who are my kids going to play with? The biggest concern of all was what am I going to do with my one year old??? Thankfully, I didn’t have to get eaten by a big fish, but God did make me realize that the things I was complaining about were nothing compared to the BIG God that I serve. I still didn’t know where to begin but the more I prayed, the more His peace just covered over me. God just started paving the way for me to homeschool. My close friend in Hawaii was already doing research and we spent many hours on the phone discussing a curriculum since we would be homeschooling kids in the same grade. Then, the house behind us, which had been empty for almost a year, had a family move in. We were finally going to have neighbors! Shortly after meeting them, I found out that they had been homeschooling for five years. We became great friends and she gave me so much needed information and tips. Our kids play together almost every day! I decided to enroll my oldest daughter in a Christian Online Academy to relieve some of the pressure and that would help re-enforce the biblical teachings we are trying to instill in our daughters. After I did that, we received an unexpected blessing from a family member that covered the cost of her tuition! What really made me excited, though, was that my kids actually wanted to be homeschooled! 

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Every day I am with my girls, I can’t thank God enough for putting homeschooling on my heart and giving me His peace to actually do it. I was so set on never wanting to homeschool my kids that I would have missed out on this huge blessing. I didn’t realize how God was going to use homeschooling for me to spend more time with my kids and to watch them grow. I also realized how much I enjoy teaching and I actually wake up every morning excited to start the day. I thought that I wouldn’t be able to juggle all four kids and the home but God has helped me find ways and to even fit in my workouts. My kids used to fight so much and they used to be so tired when they came home from school. Homework sometimes was very difficult to get through and then after that they just wanted to be outside playing with their friends. We sat and ate dinner together but that was the extent of our conversations. Now, my daughters and I have many conversations and there are so many more teaching moments that I can have with them and so many more moments that are not rushed because we don’t have to get to the next thing. They are also very helpful in the home and the fighting has almost completely stopped. My parents are here visiting for the holidays and the granddaughters they knew last summer are not the granddaughters they see today. They have matured in so many different ways and I have definitely done the same. By no means is homeschooling easy and we do have our good days and our not so good days. I don’t even know what the future holds for homeschooling for our family, but I am going to take this opportunity that God has given me and be thankful for each day and be open to what He has for us in the future.
I felt so calm and knew that this was the path I was supposed to take even though I felt like there were too many unknowns. Phillipians 4:7 came to mind, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus.” I needed to go down that path knowing that God was going to bless it. I am pretty sure you have heard Hebrews 11 referred to as the Faith Hall of Fame. It talks about the Heroes of Faith in the Old Testament. However, the verse that stuck out to me was v.13. “All of these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.” That is how I feel with this small season in my life. Why did God call me to homeschool? I do see the immediate blessings but I have faith knowing that his BIGGER plan is so much greater than I could ever imagine. I have learned to Never Say Never again and to allow God to work in my life through whatever situation He calls me to do.
I encourage you to listen to God when He is calling you to do something that is out of your comfort zone. What He calls you to do may have some bumps on the way, but you will definitely see the blessings that He has for you. I know I have fought God in the past and wanted go down my own path, but I have realized that when I surrender to His will, peace and joy always follow.

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October 08th, 2020

10/8/2020

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​Please Help Get This Book Published

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​When I was eleven years old, I started writing a book. Like most eleven-year-old boys, I lost interest, put the draft away, and lost track of it. But the desire to write a book lingered in the back of my mind. In 1999 I began writing another book, but daily life took over and that one also fell by the wayside.

Finally, in February 2018 I sat down and began writing the leadership book that had been on my heart for years. With the support and mentorship of a friend, I was able to write Practical Leadership: Lessons from an Average Leader. I spent hours writing, editing, rewriting, and having the book read by others to get critical feedback. I am very happy with this book. I am excited because I believe leaders will be able to improve their craft by reading this book and internalizing the lessons within. My goal is to get the book published early in the new year. 

One thing I did not know when I began this process was how expensive it is to publish a book. This is where you come in. With your help, this book will see the light of day. Please join me on this journey by giving whatever you can to help with the cost of editing and publishing this book.

To say thank you for your donation, we have created incentive levels ranging from Copper, which is for $25 donations to Agape, our highest level of a $5000 donation. Each level has varying incentives of appreciation. However, donations of any amount will be greatly appreciated.

Any funds raised above what is needed to publish this book will be used for Agape Leaders or donated to four different scholarship funds: the Jang-Kim Scholarship, the Juanita Mays Scholarship, the Miss Lakeland Scholarship Competition, and the Miss Florida Outstanding Teen Scholarship Competition.

 Again, thank you for taking the time to read this and seriously consider donating to this project. Click the GoFundMe logo below to be taken to our page! 
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​Meet Bailey Rodgers

​This month’s guest writer is Bailey Rodgers. She is a friend of Agape Leaders, who Dr. Mays first met as a member of The Rock Community Church youth ministry. As a sophomore in high school, Bailey joined a group of students at George Jenkins High School who committed to pray for their school and community once a week throughout the school year. She was faithful to the group and Dr. Mays has been blessed to watch her grow from a somewhat shy tenth grader to an amazing woman of God who is a force.
An undergraduate of Southeastern University, Bailey now works for SEU. She is also working towards a post-graduate degree as she follows the call God has on her life.
She is married to the love of her life, Mitchell Rodgers. The two form a dynamic duo of ministry that we are all fortunate that God uses them to strengthen our daily walk with Christ.
We are overjoyed to have Bailey Rodgers write this month’s featured article in Agape Letters. 

Let It Go

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​Sometimes when I sit down to have a quiet time or read scripture, I have this subconscious mindset that nothing that I am about to read could really apply to me that much. I mean this all did take place thousands and thousands of years ago, right? How could it relate to me?
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I don’t really know why I still find myself in this mindset sometimes. God has proven to me over and over again just how wrong I am. In the moments when I find myself in this state of mind is when He always steps in and shows me just how relatable, how essential, and how applicable His Word is to my life here in 2020. How years and years after Jesus’ death and resurrection, and years and years after the events of the Old Testament took place, the Word of God is consistent, and a firm truth to build my life on.
 
Truly meditating on the Word of God and asking Him to allow me to read and comprehend it with new eyes is when I find that God brings passages of scripture to life. Even if I have read them before, He gives them a new meaning and brings a fresh viewpoint, a new application. All of that to say, when God gives me those little kisses by, what sometimes seems like Him, screaming passages of scripture at me, my mind is blown by just how much I do relate to the lives and circumstances of the people in the Bible. And even more so, I am blown away by how God’s teachings then are the same as they are now.
 
I previously read a book called “The Best Yes,” by Lysa Terkeurst. Life changing. If you are a female and have not read this book, I would highly encourage you to. It is packed full of God’s truth and encouragement on how to live a life with a best yes mindset, making the best decisions in the big and small circumstances of life. Towards the end of the book, there is a chapter where Lysa touches on a passage of scripture in Exodus. It is a passage I have read multiple times (it seems to keep presenting itself to me), and every time I read it, I find myself thinking, “Wow, Moses’ life has some serious truth to offer us!” I mean Moses was a pretty great, Godly man, but again, it is so easy to believe that you could not possibly relate to him because he walked through life so long ago in a much different time that you and I are walking through. But in steps God. I want you all to read the passage of scripture I am talking about so you can get a better picture of where I am coming from. It’s a little lengthy, so I am not going to type it all in this blog post, but you can find it in Exodus 18:13-25.
 
A little background for you, Jethro, Moses’s father-in-law, has come to visit Moses. It is a sweet reunion among two men with a great relationship. They sit and chat, catch up on life, and on all that God is doing in and through Moses. Jethro is delighted, they offer some sacrifices, and we arrive at verse 13. These next 12 verses have spoken to me and challenged me greatly since I read them back in January of this year. The first time I read this body of scripture, I found myself using it to point fingers. I kept thinking of all of the people that I knew that I thought needed to read this and really consider applying it to their lives. When I read it again in “The Best Yes,” I realized that I needed to probably stop pointing fingers at others and maybe start pointing fingers at myself. As much as I believe this passage of scripture would be beneficial for others to read, I realized I needed to stop and understand just how much I needed to read it and apply it to my own life.
 
Now, let’s get something straight. I do not have thousands of people coming to me to seek God’s will like Moses did. That is not what I am trying to get at here. I more so want to point out the fact that Moses was doing everything on his own, without the help of anyone else. It had gotten so bad that Moses was worn out, which in turn was not benefitting him or anyone that came to him. His ministry was not as effective as it could have been. I mean maybe I am preaching to myself here, but how often do we find ourselves in situations where we think we can do it all on our own? Where we want to do it all on our own because we don’t think anyone else could possibly do it as good as we do it? That is called control and most all of us have a little bit, if not a lot, of it in us. It comes with our flesh. Now what we do with that desire for control is what can make or break us and our ministry. It is what makes us either like Moses in this story, or not so much like Moses in this story. 
 
Jethro gives Moses some advice and basically tells Moses, “God be with you. Do with it what you will.” He tells Moses that what he is doing is not good. He doesn’t tell him to stop leading the people, but he does tell him how to do it more efficiently and more effectively. Jethro shares some pretty honest words, that if anyone shared with us, my guess would be that we would become immediately defensive. What is so admiring about this story is that Moses accepts Jethro’s words of advice. Jethro explains to Moses that he needs to build other trustworthy men and leaders up under him. That way, Moses isn’t tending to every single one of the thousands of Israelites, wearing himself out, but is building up others to deal with the many so that he only has to deal with the few. Moses leads by leading the leaders, and the leaders have an opportunity to lead the people. Everyone wins. Moses can’t do it all on his own. Moses shouldn’t do it all on his own. And Moses accepts the challenge. That, my friends, is an act of bravery.
 
It is so hard for us to let go of the things that we have control of or seek control over because we don’t trust others. We don’t trust them to help us and we don’t trust them to carry out “our” tasks as well as we do. We are prideful and arrogant in this way. What we need is an act of bravery like Moses had. Not to set aside our tasks, our responsibilities, our callings, and forget about them, but to carry them out in a way that is glorifying to God and beneficial to all of those involved. To humble ourselves so that we can more effectively carry out God’s will.
 
When we find ourselves in those situations where we feel like we are doing everything, where we are so stressed and worn out, we need to do a little self-check. Most of us could agree that we never want to get to a place in our ministry (whatever our ministry may look like in our current seasons of life) where we are so selfish that we think that us being in control is better than leading and pointing others to Christ effectively. But it is so easy to find ourselves slipping into that place. We hurt ourselves and we hinder others. Or we hurt ourselves and enable others into complacency or laziness. We become so burdened and heavy laden, but still manage to put on our happy faces at church every Sunday morning. We shut the help and prayers of others out. We become a poor example of a person in relationship, on fire, and dependent on the Lord. We speak a message that we can do everything on our own power. We don’t need others. We can do it all. We are the only ones that can do it best. We don’t need God.

But God doesn’t want us to do this life alone. He wants us to live in community where we are delegating responsibilities instead of stealing them all for ourselves. Where we are leading by enabling others to be leaders. Where we are delegating to empower others and free ourselves. Where we are freeing ourselves so that we can fully devote ourselves to Christ and our calling, our purpose. So that we can demonstrate our need for Jesus, our reliance on Him, and a life sought out after Him.
 
Now I am the queen of “just doing it myself.” Sometimes that seems like the easier option rather than teaching someone else how to carry something out. Or trusting them to carry it out correctly. However, through experience, I have come to find out that it only exhausts me, takes away from what I really need to be doing, and enables others to not do anything because they know that Bailey will take care of it. She always does. Even if that is true, me “taking care of it” doesn’t come easy. It usually comes with a lot of added, unnecessary stress, and I become a person, a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a leader, a co-worker, and a follower of Jesus that I know is not who God called and created me to be. I become someone that is not effectively ministering to myself or to others.
 
So I want to ask you, what area of your life do you need to allow others in to help you? Where do you need to let go of some control and extend trust? I want to come alongside of you and be brave like Moses was. I want for us to accept the wise counsel that others are giving us, even if it’s not what we want to hear. As cheesy as it sounds, I want us to let go and let God, realizing our need for Him and tapping into the resources that He has blessed us with to relieve us from the control we were never created to have. His yolk is easy and His burden is light. Doesn’t that sound like a much better deal than the heavy burden of control that you are dragging behind you? It’s damaging everything we touch, distorting the path and the impact we are making. I want us to bravely accept that we are beloved, and know that His beloved weren’t meant to do it all on our own. His beloved were meant to bravely depend on God, and trust in His plan, His control, and His provisions. We can’t do it all. We can’t do anything without Him. He can do it all, with or without us. Let Him.

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A Day That Changed A lot...

9/10/2020

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Agape Leaders on YouTube!

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Agape Leader's recently released their first Monday Motivation! A bi-weekly series that is made by some leaders to help with your spiritual growth and leadership development! These videos are posted on our YouTube page. There you can also find our weekly Word Wednesdays too. 

We would love it if you would please take a peek and leave us a like, share the content with your friends and family and subscribe so you are able to be notified of any new videos! (Click here to go to our YouTube page: Agape Leaders YouTube)

Meet Mary Smithers

This month’s guest writer is Mary Smither. She is a retired educator from the Polk County Public Schools district. She is a beloved person who lives her life serving others to the best of her ability.
A humble person, Mary was selected by two different schools to be their Teacher of the Year. A lifelong reader, she loved introducing students to literature. She created an environment in which students felt safe. They readily sought out Mary for advice on books, but more importantly, about life concerns.
When Dr. Mays learned that September 11 would be a date on which an Agape Letter was to be published, his first desire was to have Mary write this important article. She graciously said yes.
It is a great honor to have Mary Smither write this month’s featured article in Agape Letters.

Featured article:

By: Mary Smithers
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September 11, 2001. A date that almost every American, over the age of 25 years old, can tell you exactly where they were when the terrorist attacks hit our country. The events of that date changed our country, changed our sense of security, and changed our hearts. I grew up with a family who loved their country, served in the military, and passed this love to me. Although we lost no one personally in the 9/11 attacks, we were changed. This was not a tragedy that our parents told us about, this was a life-changing event that we lived through. It made a mark on our lives, our peace, and our security. We held each other closer and knew our lives would never be quite the same after that day.
As I think of this date, I draw an analogy to the “day” that Jesus came personally into my heart. I inherited, from parents and grandparents, a legacy of loving Christ and doing the right thing. This secondhand faith was comfortable and accepted. I went to church, treated others with respect, and tried to be a good person by doing what I had seen my parents do. I thought all was good and that was enough. I believed in God and went through the motions of living the Godly life my parents had talked about. I had not had that moment where I changed; I accepted the faith that had been passed down to me.
All of that changed in February 2011. By this time, I was fifty-six years old; had been married for thirty-four years to the same man; raised two well-adjusted children to adulthood; worked for almost twenty-five years in the public school system; and had been a member of a church forever! I was happy and thought I had it all. That changed when our new pastor challenged us to read a book together as a church. It was called Waking to God’s Dream* by Dick Wills. God had picked this time and this book to be the catalyst to change my life forever. Many of my preconceived ideas about being a “good” Christian tumbled away. I realized I had been going through the motions and doing what others expected me to do. I was a good person, but not a good and faithful Christian. As I read this book one early morning in February 2011, it was as if the Holy Spirit truly washed through my body and said, “This is what I ask of you!” Truly, my heart was calm, and I felt a peace that passed all understanding.
This book has many lessons in it, written by Bishop Wills, but coming directly from God. This was the first time I made a personal connection with Jesus’ teachings.
They were the things that I had been lacking in my faith journey that kept me wandering along the path and going two steps forward and one step backward. Three of the things he said that profoundly changed my life were:
1. Trusting God Enough not to need to be loved by everyone.
2. If you do not have it, you cannot share it.
3. You must be in a DAILY walk with God, believing that he is active now—not just something you read about in the Bible.
I learned that if I am obedient to God by being in that daily walk—praying, studying His word, and doing what I am learning, it doesn’t matter what others think of me because God will love me and give me peace. I must read and know God’s message through the Bible to be able to share it with others. Truly when I read the words in this book, as if they were spoken directly to me, this verse from the book of Galatians settled in my heart, “…It is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God.”
Instead of coming home and turning on the television to chill out after work, I carved out a specific time each day to “be” with God. I prayed, I read His word, and I listened to Him. Many times, I fell asleep during this time with the Bible or a spiritual book in my lap, but I did not give up! Before I knew it, this time had brought me confidence in my faith. I did not feel smarter than anyone else about Christ, I felt worthy and knowledgeable about what He taught and what He wanted for me. I became a prayer warrior-always beginning with a praise to God for allowing me to know him and be one of his children. As Bishop Wills described, I prayed daily to be a part of what God was blessing rather than telling God what I wanted done and trying to get Him to bless that. I gave my faith and my obedience to God. My heart and soul were calm.
Since 2011, I have ups and downs, but have never been afraid. I relaxed in life and let God lead the way. I accepted my diagnosis of Breast Cancer by giving it to God. I followed what the doctors said and had surgery and treatment, but my “heart never shook” because I had faith that God would take care of me. As life continues with good times and sad times, I find that taking the time daily to pray for others, to thank God, and to read His word, keeps me positive and upbeat. I pray about decisions and act according to what I feel God wants me to do.
Whether people are happy with my decision or not, I know God will not give up on me and I find that my decisions are almost always correct in the long run.
You may not have reached your “9/11” date yet—when your life changes and you can see things in a different way in your walk with Christ. Remember, it will happen when it is supposed to happen—age does not make a difference to God. Be open--it may come from a book, a song, an action, or another person, but it will happen. You are a child a God who is loved beyond belief. I live each day with this verse in my heart, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11


* Wills, Dick. Waking to God's Dream: Spiritual Leadership and Church Renewal. Abingdon Press, 1999.

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Outside Your Comfort

8/13/2020

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Agape Leaders Rebranded

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Agape Leader's recently released their first Monday Motivation! A bi-weekly series that is made by some leaders to help with your spiritual growth and leadership development! These videos are posted on our YouTube page. There you can also find our weekly Word Wednesdays too. 

We would love it if you would please take a peek and leave us a like, share the content with your friends and family and subscribe so you are able to be notified of any new videos! (Click here to go to our YouTube page: Agape Leaders YouTube)

Meet Emily English

This month’s guest writer is Emily English. She is an exceptional learner, graduating as the salutatorian for the George Jenkins High School class of 2017. Currently a senior at Northeastern University in Boston, MA, she has traveled the world studying abroad learning much about other cultures.
Visiting countries like Australia, Spain, New Zealand, Portugal, and Austria, among others, Emily brings a perspective to Agape Letters that is filled with cultural diversity. Her article is a “call to arms” to her generation to take the opportunity while they are young to willingly learn more about cultures different from the one in which you were raised. She encourages readers to step out of their comfort zone to open up a new world for themselves.
We are thankful that she has taken the time to share her thoughts with us this month. We pray that you are too. 

Traveling Out of Your Comfort Zone

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Going out of our comfort zone can be daunting, but I believe it is the most important aspect to self-development. It means trading familiarity for perspective. In my experience, going out of my comfort zone has drastically changed my life and perspective for the better, while shedding light on opportunities for the future and the impact that I want to make.
I grew up in a mid-size suburb, where I knew to do my best in school, work hard in sports, and be a good friend and family member. Before college, my life was prescribed to me. I followed the same routines, encountered the same people, and focused on short term successes. My bubble was small, and I did not think much about who I was or who I wanted to be in the world. This changed as I got closer to high school graduation, as my focus shifted more to my future.
My senior year of high school, I was ecstatic to be accepted into my top choice college in Boston, Massachusetts. I chose this college because of their emphasis on experiential learning and global opportunities. By the end of high school, I knew that I needed to step further out of my comfort zone and the best way to do this was through new experiences. This choice determined who I am today and gave me opportunities I never could have imagined. Leaving my hometown enabled me to become more independent and less reliant on my bubble. In Boston, I experienced life in a city, constantly surrounded by new people and new ideas. I met friends who had completely different experiences than my own, who exchanged their viewpoints and perspectives to help shape mine. This was the first step of broadening my perspective, but I also wanted to develop my worldview.
Throughout college, I have had the opportunity to travel quite a bit. My freshman year, I spent four months studying abroad in Sydney, Australia, and my junior year, I spent six months working for a start-up company in Seville, Spain. So far I have been to 19 different countries and 5 different continents. The time I have spent traveling and living abroad has given me confidence and self-awareness, and has also helped me develop a broader view of the world.
I am thankful for these opportunities because I believe college and our 20s are a time that helps us to determine who we want to be in the world. Overtime, traveling has built up my confidence and exposed me to a variety of people with completely different stories. I have met people, old and young, from all over the world and have had impromptu experiences joining them to explore a new city, cook dinner, or talk late into the night by a fire pit. Traveling eliminates the shield of who we are to people in our everyday lives, and allows us to truly be ourselves while absorbing others for their true selves as well.

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Some of my most empowering experiences have been while solo traveling and moving by myself to new cities. The unknown can be unsettling, but it is all has to do with mindset. What-ifs can be turned positive, and focus should be placed on opportunity rather than apprehension. Throughout my experiences, I have developed routines in new places, learned how to approach people I do not know to start a conversation, and have increased my ability to adapt when logistics go awry. I have gained confidence that I can forge my own path and live the independent life that I want to live.
While I am thankful for the privilege to travel internationally, traveling does not have to mean flying across the world.

Traveling is about having an open mind and trying new things.
It can mean exploring a new place close to home, trying a new recipe, or watching a documentary. In this digital age, we have access to information never thought possible. We can travel by reading books and educating ourselves on other countries and world news. It’s not always about the vacation pictures, but about the knowledge gained from traveling and how it changes perspective.
For me, I wanted to better understand who I was and my place in the world by developing my worldview. It is important to identify our goals and the ways in which we can go out of our comfort zone to impact us the most.Traveling doesn’t appeal to everyone and you don’t have to travel to develop who you are. Other ways to challenge yourself include joining a club, making a new friend, volunteering, trying a new hobby, or taking a class on a topic that you are interested in.
I believe the more experiences we have and the more people we meet in our 20s, the broader our perspective becomes. It is important to open our minds now while we are young, and have the time and independence. In this time of our lives, we need to take advantage of our ability to be open to new experiences.
Looking back, these past few years has been the largest growth period I have had. They have been a time of maturity and perspective. Looking forward, it is exciting that this growth and shaping of who we are never stops. I urge you to take this time to go out of your comfort zone in whichever way you see fit, to meet new people who open your mind, and to realize that differences and diversity are what make us stronger. I have identified issues in the world that I want to help solve, and opened my mind to living in a new way that brings me excitement to think about.
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July 17th, 2020

7/17/2020

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Agape Leaders Rebranded

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​Agape Leaders’ website has been completely revamped by the talented Jessica Maldonado. She has dragged our organization into the 21st century with her on point graphics and exceptional designs. But don’t take our word for it, you can see her work first hand by perusing our website or by visiting her website at vichesniche.com

Meet Madison Deaton

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This month’s guest writer is Madison Deaton. She is a graduate of The University of Texas at Austin with a degree in kinesiology. She is also a certified nutrition coach and personal trainer. She is the owner of The Fit Flamingo Studio, in Plano, TX. The studio is a 40-foot shipping container she converted into a safe space for women.
With a positive energy that transcends just being a fitness coach, Madison seeks to help women love who they are, right where they are. Her goal with The Fit Flamingo Studio is to create a safe place where women can gather, speak vulnerably and authentically, and grow in their self-love and body resilience.
It is an honor to have Madison Deaton writing this month’s Agape Letter. We believe you will enjoy her message too.

Dear Friend,

 I don’t know you.
 And yet I do.
You’re my brother. You’re my sister. You’re my friend and fellow seeker of the Light, searching for truth in the darkest of places. You’re showing up even when it’s hard. You’re facing the giants of this life even when you’re running low on stones to throw. I see you and I’m so honored to share this space with you.
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Hi, I’m Madison :)
I’m a personal trainer and nutrition coach who’s on a mission to help women feel really good in their own skin. I own a fitness studio in my hometown of Plano, Texas where I coach women through their trauma, deeply rooted pain, and negative beliefs so they can fully own their lives and embrace all that they were created to be.
Within this post, I wanted to share two things that were on my heart.

Number one is this:
YOU ARE ENOUGH.

 Just as you are.
There’s nothing you can do to earn or un-earn it. You’re enough. Simple as that!
But let me ask you this, do you believe that you are enough?
Take a moment to sit with yourself and see what thoughts and feelings come up for you…

[Did you sit with yourself and ponder this question!!? Do you believe that you are enough??]

Maybe you know you’re enough, but you don’t feel like you are. On a conscious level, we know we’re loved and valued but on a deeper subconscious level, we may be holding on too tightly to old stories and limiting beliefs from our past.
 
For example, as a young girl, basketball was my first love. But I often got bullied for being “too skinny.” I was called names that have stuck with me my whole life. And now as an adult, I’ve had to be really intentional about letting go of what those people said about me. You see, it’s all too easy to let negative opinions and mean comments become our truths.
 
But it’s our job to identify and become aware of the thoughts we’re listening to with the aim to heal the deeper root cause.
 
Now, I have the power to claim who I want to be (who I am), create space for myself and others to shine, and to believe full heartedly that I am enough.
 
It’s super counter-cultural to feel good in your own skin, without wanting to lose weight or change bits and pieces about who you are to feel worthy of love.
 
Loving who you are is a radical form of self-care.
 
So let this post be a friendly reminder to you that you always have and will always be enough. This truth is here waiting for you to claim, own, and fully believe. It’s yours for the taking!

My second point is this sweet and simple truth:
THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU.

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 So friend, I beg of you!!! Show up to each day in the way that only you can. Do it unapologetically. Show up with bravery and an unmatched fierceness, even in the midst of your doubt and faithless nights.
 
Show up on the good days and show up on the tough days too. Show up when you’re filled with joy and know that you can show up even on the days when the depression feels too heavy to lift you off the floor.
 
For you don’t have to show up perfect. You just have to show up as you. Fully you.  
Because that’s where the magic is.
 
You see, God will always use where we’re at to grow us. Every season of this life has meaning. Each struggle shapes the narrative of our story. Every high offers a new vantage point and every low is filled full with lessons to be learned.
 
So soak in each season. Treasure the periods of waiting. Trust in your slow and steady growth. Find the strength to be grateful, even when the answer is “no.”
 
Because there is magic to be found as we sit within our story, without rushing to the next chapter.
 
So sit with your sadness, anger, loneliness and disappointment. Sit with your joy, victories, blessings, and peace. Sit with your scars, trauma, hurts, and baggage. Sit with them long enough to know what they came to teach and reveal to you.
 
And as you let yourself feel and experience all that this life has to offer, I hope you remember to cling to God and to the ones who remind you of your enough-ness. Be determined to find moments of hope and light, even in the midst of your messy middle.
 
For there is always Light to be found for those who look for it.
 
Dear friend, your Creator has already given you everything you need to live a life fulfilled. You have every tool and every idea already inside of you!!! You don’t have to become like someone else or do what someone else is doing. Because if you do, you will miss out on the very thing that God is calling YOU (and only you) to.
 
So be you.
 
Tell your story.
 
Follow the call that has been placed on your heart.
 
Because we need you to show up in all of your fullness. This is the fullness you were born to claim.
 
For you have always been enough just as you are.
 
So be you. Fully you. In the ways that only you can.
 
I’m sending you so much love.
 
You are enough.
 
With love,
Madison Deaton.

 
Ps! If you’d like to connect with me online, you can find me @thefitflamingo on Instagram and more resources for owning your enough-ness on my website @ thefitflamingo.com. You can also find me on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/madisondeaton/. I’d love to hear what this season of life is revealing to you :)

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    Agape Letters

    Do an internet search and you will find several definitions for the word “Agape.” According to one site, Agape is a Greco-Christian term referring to love, "the highest form of love, charity" and "the love of God for man and of man for God". This is the definition that we use at Agape Leaders for the way we mean agape. In our lives, many of us long to receive a “love letter” from that special someone. You are our special someone, therefore we are sending you our “Agape Letter,” our love letter to you.
    ​The purpose of this monthly blog is to share with you the love and passion many people have for humanity. This letter will give leaders an opportunity to share their hearts with you. You will learn about some of the “left behind” in our society and be given the opportunity to offer your support. We want to hear from you when a particular topic touches you. Thank you for taking the time to read our blog. We pray that it is a blessing for you. And remember, STAY STRONG!!

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